In the old days, children were familiar with birth and death as part of life. This is perhaps the first generation of American youngsters who had ever been close by during the birth of a baby and baby ever experienced the death of a family member. Nowadays when people grow old, we often send them to nursing homes. When they get sick, we transfer them to a hospital, where children are forbidden to visit terminally-iii patients-even when those patients are their parents. This deprives the dying patient of significant family members during the last few days of the life and it deprives the children of an experience of death, which is an important learning experience. Some of my colleagues and I once interviewed and followed approximately 500 terminally-ill patients in order to find out what they could teach us and how we could be of more benefit, not just to them but to the members of their families as well. We were most impressed by the fact that even those patients who were not told of their serious illness were quite aware of its potential out come. It is important for family members, and doctors and nurses to understand these patients communications in order to truly understand their needs, fears and fantasies(幻想). Most of our patients welcomed another human being with whom they could talk openly, honestly and frankly about their trouble. Many of them shared with us their tremendous need to be informed, to be kept up-to-date on their medical condition and to be told when the end was near. We found out that patients who had been dealt with openly and frankly were better able to cope with the approach of death and finally to reach a true stage of acceptance prior to death. The elders of contemporary Americans ______.