Forgiveness is not a way of forgetting the past. Indeed, if we have been harmed, we should not forget it. We can learn from the past about how to avoid being harmed in the future. Nor is forgiveness a way of exonerating (免除责任) the one who has hurt us. We recognize that the harm did happen and the person must be responsible for this and must come to terms with their own guilt. When we forgive, we are not sacrificing anything or giving up our sense of self-worth. Indeed, we are doing just the opposite by taking a stand which says that we are strong and finally free of playing the role of victim. Forgiveness is a way of declaring our honesty. Forgiveness is a way of saying that the pain of the past should now be put behind me. Thus, forgiving is a reflection of positive self-esteem. It means that we have better things to do in life than continuing to live under the influence of the one who has caused us pain. Forgiveness signifies breaking the cycle of pain and abuse (辱骂), giving up the belief that the other person should hurt as much as we do. It means abandoning the myth that if we hurt the other person, it will make us feel better. Forgiveness implies giving up the unrealistic hope that an apology will have the same meaning to the one who has hurt us as it has for us. It tells us that we are moving our energy from the negative to the positive. You are now free to live your life unburdened by the pain of your past hurt.